Plus/Minus, Australia version.

+23 The “spot” – Just outside the Cameron front step, there’s a patch in the trees that makes for a perfect sunlight pathway in the mornings. You can find me basking there, with a cuppa tea, hot chokkie or a ghetto mocha worshipping the sun. PTL for the sun.

+44 The construction worker, garbage collector and general public servant uniforms in this country – They involve fluorescent (“fluoro”) tank tops (“singlets”), above-the-knee shorty shorts, and work boots. The most hilarious thing about this uniform is that it’s ridiculously common. And normal. And awesome.

-64 The width of the main highways (I really should put highways in quotes) – Think Glebe Rd (or N New Braunfels) with no shoulders, and you’ll be imagining what is the equivalent of 281 or the GW Parkway. Like, TINY. This makes for my other -1000, which is the road rage that happens as a result of the general lack of space.

+89 Bev’s parenting techniques – These typically involve giving a good strong wedgie to whichever boy is causing the most damage at the moment (typically Jac or Jocko) and following up with a wet-willy if that doesn’t work. It never stops being funny.

+12,098,949,127,847,180,273,089,723,098 The coffee – I just can’t explain how good the coffee is here. Coffee is almost too common of a word. It’s a lifestyle. My new standard drink is the equivalent of a double short latte. Sometimes I go skim, but as Jock likes to tell me, “it’s been scientifically proven that people who drink skim actually gain weight,” so I usually spring for real deal, and just go for a run to balance it out. Oh sweet Jesus it’s good. At Pablo’s, I typically get three hearts in my foam, which I’m hoping will translate into three kisses from the Hottie McHotterson barista who makes it for me.

-98 Running hills – My wheezy lungs are just starting to get comfy with flat and/or downhill treks (and treadmills) but these straight-up numbers are giving me a run for my money. I think if I just strolled up them occasionally, I would get my booty in shape. I’m going to keep thinking that.

+1000 The hotness of the average bloke (also +1000 for the word bloke) – I mean, just sitting here in my regular old coffee shop, tapping at my regular old MacBook, these two guys walk in who somehow bring sexiness to a painter’s uniform and make skinny jeans look manly. I can’t explain it, but it’s real.

+57 Chargrilled Charlie’s (commonly known as “Chooka’s”) – These folks have taken the chicken sandwich and created a whole new level of delicious with it that I didn’t know was possible before. Our favorite, the Chicken Charlie Chomper, comes grilled with cheese, bacon and drippy-sweet pineapple. Oooh baby. And if I’m feeling sinful, I’ll get the meal, adding on a bag of seasoned chips. If I’m not feeling sinful, I’ll just snag a few handfuls of Jac’s on the way home, because calories that you don’t buy for yourself are not real calories. Chik-fil-a, you just got TOLD.

+100 Beaufields – Beaufields the music, but even more, Beaufields the people. Hannah and Cat are two of my favorites in this country, and the sweet-as melodies they write together are icing on the cake. We’ve had a blast getting to know their worlds, going for a boogie with them, and swimming in the icy cold sea together (if there’s an ocean nearby, Cat’s typically running headlong for it). They’re inspired, they’re poets, they’re authentic, and they’re hilarious. Watch out USA. Stateside tour is coming in Jan/Feb.

-1 Zillion Officeworks’ Customer Service – From what we can tell, Officeworks seems to employ people with negative IQ’s and not allow them to actually do any work at all. To say customer service is low might be the understatement of the year. These folks just couldn’t be bothered to a) know what they sell, b) tell us what they sell, or even c) sell us any products. We’re still a little baffled and it’s been days.

+77 Club 2073 – The gym where I’ve managed to con a membership (since Hannah Cam isn’t using her free membership now that she lives across town, they’re letting me use hers, and I have a gym pass that just says, “Hannah” on it) is both tiny, ultra hip and doing the trick for me. It’s painted neon green outside, and all the trainers wear all black, but are walking advertising, since their lime fleeces shout “Get lean at the green machine” on the backs. I’ve become a 6am regular with Bev, and am working on a membership for Molls, mostly because she’s my personal trainer and I need her along for the ride. Also because it’s hard for us to be apart for more than 20 minutes.

And finally,

+1 billion trillion kajillion vermillion Being here, now, with Molls – I seriously can’t imagine doing something that is simultaneously a dramatic life change and season of sweet rest. It’s so far from all I’ve known and yet getting so close to the core of who I am. It’s like in coming here, in extracting myself from the things that were normal to me, I tugged on a random dangly thread that, as it unravels, I’m finding is actually headed straight for the center of myself.  And I couldn’t have picked a better comrade if I actually had picked one. As our friend Julz was packing up her boxes to move to New Zealand, she found a card from Molls dated February 2007 that said, “It was so great meeting you at the Prayer Breakfast. I hear Hanna Schmidt is thinking about coming out there – which would be awesome!” Three years later, here we are: actually friends and actually here. Thank you to all the things and people and Higher Power that managed to get us here together.