14 May 2008

Anyone need a ride to Dulles tomorrow?

My current Thursday schedule is as follows:

4:30 am - Leave for Baltimore
5:30 am - Deposit LC at Satan's favorite airport*, BWI
7:45 am - Pick up Patrick from Old Town, have breakfast (Jack's?)
9:00 am - Deposit Patrick at Jesus' favorite airport**, Reagan National

If you need to go to Dulles, Atlanta, or O'Hare, just let me know.

Also, I feel that now that I've cooled down a bit from Yasmin's disastrous waitressing fiasco, I should temper my comments, for this reason: some of you have not yet had a Tryst soy latte. A friend Gchatted a few moments ago, saying,

"so Tryst seems like the worst place ever"

As we veteran coffee rats (I have shamelessly bought my way into this demographic) know, Tryst is actually not the the worst place ever. It is possibly the best place ever, just with the worst service ever, and the worst font choices ever.

My friend who made the 'worst place ever' comment happens to also share my loathing for mankind's most devastating typographic invention, the font Papyrus, which is used sporadically throughout Tryst's menu. Obviously, all of my blog posts can't be written about this DC hangout (or from its tables, like most of them have been lately), but when this blog needs a real diatribe, I'll scan a page of the menu and point out the millions of schizophrenic typeface choices that simply prove we should let them do what they do (make really awesome coffee and coffee-flavored alcohol drinks) and let me do what I do (drink their coffee and coffee-flavored alcohol drinks while pointing out bad font choices).

It really is great, though. For you College-Stationers, it's like a twenty/thirty-somethings version of Sweet Eugene's (minus any hint of Sweet Eu-Jesus -- no metal-bound NLTs with hip Christian stickers to be found in this joint) for the neo-liberal human-rights artsy-fartsy probably-jobless crowd in Adams Morgan. Come visit, I'll take you.

Now it's 12:49, which means I'm leaving for the airport in 3 hours and 41 minutes. I'll have to tell Yasmin to make me a triple tomorrow.


*Evidence of Satan's affinity for BDubs is obvious: the extreme inaccessibility, the lack of snack-purchasing options (hard pressed even to find a Starbucks), the inevitable 4 hour delay you generally hit whenever you're within a radius of the place.

**There is no doubt in my mind that if Jesus were to fly into the US tomorrow, He would choose Reagan: they have a Vera Bradley luggage boutique, full-out bookstores while-you-wait, and plenty of organic food choices (all things Jesus likely cares deeply about).

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's a little too late for cleverness, but Katie agrees with Jesus that Reagan is way better. It makes us want to come visit tomorrow!

Laura Colby said...

I LOVE this post. Thanks for the ride. You're picking me up too, right?

Lerae said...

I was going to write down all the things I love about this post, but alas, I couldn't decide where to begin. You're too clever.

Perhaps my favorite part was "BDubs."